Off late , I've somehow rediscovered an urge to write . I open my blog and stare at a blank web page as thoughts and topics rush through my head on to my fingers , yet I barely write a word. Such is the inertia that I close my macbook , will my mind to settle down and promise myself that I would write tomorrow and the process repeats yet again.
Nothing calms me down like music and I fiddle my iPod shuffling songs trying to find something which would calm my mind and let me write but no. My mind keeps intervening , jumping from thought to thought , mood to mood and word to word. I shift focus and play with my phone and the man of the house gets irritated as I flutter around the phone , remote , iPad and macbook. Yet I can't stay still . I want to settle down but the restlessness drives me crazy.
I think its because I have so many things to say , to write after a silence of a couple of years. The past two years have been wonderful and fast , like a rushing stream . I've gone through so many things , loss of friendships , finding love , playing house and settling down with a wonderfully lazy man , who loves to sift through his thoughts and emotions one by one , who is an antithesis of me. He is grounded to my restless soul , calm and sober to my emotional self , mature and internalized to my gregarious , childlike external self. I stop writing as thoughts leave me , looking beyond the window to the corn fields a stone's throw away from my home - the beautiful and bare fields indicating the midwest's harsh and unforgiving winters. I come back to my writing and the thoughts inside my head collide , leading off to a merry dance - waltz or tango , I don't know which. I pause to think but words fail me. I look at my post and see that words have started flowing. May be I've conquered my inertia and have blasted off that damn writers block to smithereens. May be I have not. But I vow to write , and write I will - I just rediscovered the joy of writing beneath all the chaos and madness and I will never let go of it again !
Nothing calms me down like music and I fiddle my iPod shuffling songs trying to find something which would calm my mind and let me write but no. My mind keeps intervening , jumping from thought to thought , mood to mood and word to word. I shift focus and play with my phone and the man of the house gets irritated as I flutter around the phone , remote , iPad and macbook. Yet I can't stay still . I want to settle down but the restlessness drives me crazy.
I think its because I have so many things to say , to write after a silence of a couple of years. The past two years have been wonderful and fast , like a rushing stream . I've gone through so many things , loss of friendships , finding love , playing house and settling down with a wonderfully lazy man , who loves to sift through his thoughts and emotions one by one , who is an antithesis of me. He is grounded to my restless soul , calm and sober to my emotional self , mature and internalized to my gregarious , childlike external self. I stop writing as thoughts leave me , looking beyond the window to the corn fields a stone's throw away from my home - the beautiful and bare fields indicating the midwest's harsh and unforgiving winters. I come back to my writing and the thoughts inside my head collide , leading off to a merry dance - waltz or tango , I don't know which. I pause to think but words fail me. I look at my post and see that words have started flowing. May be I've conquered my inertia and have blasted off that damn writers block to smithereens. May be I have not. But I vow to write , and write I will - I just rediscovered the joy of writing beneath all the chaos and madness and I will never let go of it again !
